Top tips on who to vote for from D&G

Thursday, April 08, 2010 by Ivor Dickinson

The time has come and Gordon Brown has finally called the election, but who do you vote for? You know you must vote Tory because Labour have spent our entire inheritance and run up the largest debt of any British government in living memory.  The rest of all our lives and those of our children are going to be considerably harder because of the damage caused by this profligate and incompetent government.  Then every time I hear sound bites from the Tories, I have to be honest, I’m not entirely convinced. Do they really think they can save the nation’s finances by cutting back costs at central office. So, are there any alternatives? You wouldn’t have thought so.  However, I have been on the internet and thoroughly enjoyed reading the ninety eight manifesto proposals from the Monster Raving Loony party. Six of which I list below:

  1. Spectator Sport – cricket will be made more interesting, by eliminating the use of padding (and possibly cricket bats).
  2. Put a Sock in it – all socks to be sold in packs of three, as a precaution against losing one.
  3. Safe Tractors – ban tractors from driving on roads, they can drive across their fields.
  4. A Lions share – it is proposed that we change the England symbol of 3 lions to 3 badgers. How often do you see lions running around the countryside?
  5. Stop Me and Fry One – combine the love of fishing with the great British love of queuing by putting bus stops near canals and lakes.
  6. As this is a property section, their final policy is Home of your Own – all new homes should be built with swimming pool and bouncy castle as standard and to lower the house prices and help young people I propose we erase the last ‘0’ from the price.

Obviously loony, but a lot more interesting than anything that has been said by messrs Brown, Cameron or Clegg. Happy Voting.